.bittersweet day.

04.22.05

yesterday was a day that started out sad and ended up happy. i guess God has a way of letting us taste a little of different kinds of emotion ano?

as you might have read in my previous blog, the mood was somewhat... serious and melancholy. I was feeling those emotions the moment i woke up yesterday. i was even a bit cranky. for the past few days, i couldn't sleep. i know it has been normal that the moment i lie down i think about what had happened during the day or what is going to happen in the days to come. but for the past few nights, my sleeping time is more at about 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning.. but i lie down at about 12:oo midnight. imagine, i'm just lying down and thinking. probably im too affected.

anyhow, when i headed to the church at about 6:15pm (which was actually early for me since i commonly leave the house at about half past 6) and arrived there 5 minutes later, i found out that i was too early. my choir mates (if there is such a word.. haha) haven't arrived yet. this was, however, to my advantage since i felt that i needed some time alone. i haven't had the chance to actually be silent ever since.. the day i received the terrible news... anyway, i knelt down on the first pew and had a conversation with the One Up There. i started getting teary eyed when the topic came to Rej and what had happened. i started telling Him how i felt, how i wish that she's okay... all that i had wanted to express about the situation i poured out. good thing my choir mates weren't early. i needed that.

after we sang in the 7pm mass, we had a practice in preparation for Monsignor's installation in our parish as the new parish priest. we sung "Stella Maris" (with tenor, alto and soprano voices). first with the organ and then without. it was soooo beautiful! ang sarap pakinggan! :D some of our other friends (part of the choir also) started to arrive and we were all becoming "makulit" na. one of the joys in being a part of a choir is that you make beautiful music together. apart from that, you have the same thing that you love doing -- singing of course. syempre eating is the second best thing you'd want to do. ;p We sung "Sing a New Song" which is going to be the entrance hymn for Monsi's installation mass. Sam and I were soprano so we sang a different tune from the rest.Kuya Dave taught the soprano part. it was kind of hard at first since i was used to singing the melody. we'd laugh whenever "sumasabit" yung voice namin ni Sam. mapapatingin na lang si Kuya Dave. haha. Ate Michelle, Guita and Ate Cecille sang alto.Galing ni Ate Michelle kasi Kuya Dave didn't know the alto part for that song. so she invented na lang for them. nice :D si Kuya Henry, Kuya Dave pati si Robbie naman yung matitirang kakanta ng melody ng Sing a New Song. e overpowered sila kasi ang dami naming girls tapos mas malakas yung voices namin! haha:D Robbie told me "ang lalakas nyo masyado! dapat nga mas malakas kami ksi kami yung melody eh!" hahhaa. ang kulit talga ng lalaking yun! :p thanks to him nga pala kaya nakauwi ako sa bahay. salamat sa paghatid mo sa akin sa iyong car :D by the way, inaanak siya ni Kuya Paul (the guy from CMO? the one who facilitated the Senior C class retreat? small world ano? :D). i kid him around telling him that ever since he told me that, i'd always remember Kuya Paul whenever i see him. Robbie has this certain similarity with Kuya Paul but i can't put my finger on it. sabi nya during the ride home (ang kulit nya grabe! ang daming kwento haha.. kakatuwa ;p ) na he wanted to become a priest before. i remembered Kuya Paul din kasi di ba same din? Perhaps they have this certain kind of "goodness aura". yun siguro yung similarity. anyway, good luck sa fellow interns mo, Rob! (hahah :p.. don't worry, Sam and I will always see you as a very kind person..)

being with my choir mates made me happy and took my mind off of what had happened. God has His ways talaga ano? singing and laughing proves to be a good combination after all. :D

bittersweet ng araw ko ano?... anyhow, there's mass today 4pm at the lower chapel of St. James. i won't be able to go because of my duty sa church pati magpapa x-ray for my braces (next blog na lang yun..galing ako ng dentist kanina hehe) . il most probably go tomorrow 1:30pm mass same place. her ashes will be there by 9am tomorrow.

i just hope na makayanan ko tomorrow. it's going to be hard to be there again. my prayers still are with her and her family..