dealing with "The End".

listening to the speakers during the honors assembly awhile ago, i just couldnt believe that i was actually there. dressed up and all. i told myself during my freshman year that i didnt need to attend since, after all, you just get this card stating if you're second honor or first honor and for which sem. what's the point right?

mutual admiration. mutual inspiration. mutual challenge. those were the terms that struck me the most. it was the welcoming remarks of Sir Eddie Boy Calasanz that really inspired me. weird ano. hindi pa yung key note speaker eh. haha.

a funny thing happened during the HA though. during our walk towards the designated seats, the background music was ---- the one for graduation. hahaha. a lot of us actually laughed at the inappropriate music played. i for one dont want to think about graduation yet. junior year pa lang muna please!

this led to me reflecting about the lyrics of a song a fellow Hangad member told me to check out. the title is "Stop this Train" by John Mayer. poetic to the point that i had to read it thrice to fully grasp what it really meant. what struck me are the lines:

One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

it took my by surprise that im actually graduating a year from now. that the college life that i know and love-hate (hihi) is coming to an end. i guess i have to admit that im a bit scared about that reality.

growing up is hard. having to let go of your comfortable carefree days of youth is a phase everyone will have to go through. the train of life doesnt stop.

i sorely miss having recess and comparing baons with my friends. i even miss eating the baon of my other friend (me and the whole class at that! hahaha. iloveyou maeong! ate babylyn is the best cook evarrr! hahahaha ;p) i miss playing cops and robbers under the heat of the sun during lunch time (we eat lunch during recess so we'd have time to play! ;p). i even remember having mastered the art of touchball during my grade school years! haha. piko was my forte too! ;) I always looked forward to friday afternoons. upon getting off of the school bus, my kababatas will be waiting for me to tell me what games we will be playing for that day since friday afternoons mean extended playing time!! haha. i'll be out playing until around dinner time. no homework during fridays eh :p

now, things have changed. people grow up, people shape up. what makes the growing up phase of a person's life painful is perhaps due to the fact that one needs to get out of one's comfort zone. to dare to do more than you usually could. to risk one's known truths in order to test it out in the dog-eat-dog world that one has been apparently hidden from.

life forces itself on us. wait.. let me rephrase that... life happens. period.
the more salient question really is: How will you live it? How would you want to go out -- on your feet or on your knees?


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train